“The
wise ladies taught them how to play the wedding games. Winning and
losing, they made accusations and gave a ribbing to both queens.”
(Janaki Mangala, 150)
juā khelāvana kautuka kīnha sayāninha |
jīti hāri misa dehiṃ gāri duhu rāninha ||
When
Sita loses, her mother gets made fun of. When Rama loses, His mother
takes a ribbing. “Who taught you how to play? It’s as if your family
doesn’t know anything. You lost this one time, and you will lose again
going forward.” Such jokes are allowed at the festive occasion of the
wedding, and surprisingly here they are directed at the divine couple,
Sita and Rama.
“O father, hear our prayer.” This is a common
refrain when making requests to the man upstairs. He is the Almighty. He
can create universes without a problem. He can then destroy them
without even thinking about it. Just to build a house we require so much
effort. We have to plan. We have to gather the materials. We have to
chart out the construction, keeping a close eye on the schedule. Without
the schedule it is difficult to do things in a timely manner. We
complain about having to wake up early for school or work, but if the
pressure wasn’t there we likely couldn’t get our work done on time. Thus
the schedule helps to keep us active.
The wedding is especially a time
suitable for prayer. We see our loved ones entering a sacred covenant, a
relationship to ideally last a lifetime. We pray to God that the
newlyweds remain dedicated to each other, that they never forget their
commitment to the relationship. We pray that God will protect them and
allow them to enjoy family life.
Reverential worship of God is
certainly superior to foolishly ignoring His existence, but the taste of
interaction is sweeter when there is less fear. The leader of the
nation certainly enjoys hearing praise from the citizens, but he takes
greater pleasure in hearing the jokes from his friends and the loving
complaints from his wife. Here the Supreme Lord is playing games with
His eternal consort. In traditional Vedic weddings, the bride and groom
don’t know each other going in. As a way to break the ice, to spend time
with each other without it being awkward, the newlyweds play games. The
intelligent ladies in the wedding party teach them how to play.
The
enjoyment is enhanced through commentary, from both those witnessing
and those participating. In basketball, there is the common practice
known as “trash-talking,” where the opponents exchange verbal barbs in
good fun. A player doesn’t want to perform poorly in fear that the other
side will lob jokes. This is meant to be in good fun, as ideally
afterwards everyone shows respect for one another.
Only
the devotees with pure motives can participate in such delightful
joke-making. Such words enhance the pleasure of Sita and Rama, who like
any other people enjoy the association of their friends and family. They
are not conservative in this regard. They consider everyone eligible to
be a friend, as they are intimately related to everyone. In each
individual there reside two souls. One represents the person itself, and
the other the Supreme Lord. This means that we all have God inside of
us. We are not God Himself, but we are like Him and always tied to Him.
When
we choose to ignore His presence, we miss out on His association. We
think that He doesn’t exist or that He is a person to be feared only.
Why fear Him when He is always with us? Why think that we could be God
when we can’t even get what we want all the time? Better to be dedicated
to Him in thought, word and deed. Better to be immersed in thoughts of
Him. Better to please His dearmost associates, like Sita, Lakshmana,
Hanuman, and the many who follow their example of devotion.
The
women in the marriage ceremony associated with Sita and Rama in a
wonderful way. The divine couple blessed them with further association,
for this is the best reward that can be offered. Both men and women
alike can receive these blessings. Shri Hanuman, a being with perfect
intelligence and unmatched strength, gets the same blessings in the form
of support for his devotion from Sita herself. He delights in the
wonderful marriage ceremony by hearing the beautiful poetry of Goswami
Tulsidas, a person whom he personally inspired.
In Closing:
When of God to live in fear,
Hope that prayers He’ll hear.
“O Lord this painful condition relieve,
In your abundant mercy we believe.”
Here jokes to God’s family some did give,
Only because as intimate family to live.
Such words from devotees give pleasure a thousand fold,
To Supreme Lord, whose pastimes in works of Tulsi told.
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